How somatic experiencing change my life

I started seeing a Somatic Experience Practitioner over two years ago. I knew after about six months that I wanted to dive deeper into this work, that this work was impactful and I needed to learn about it. 

I showed up to my first few months of sessions hardly functioning, my son was a year and a half old and I had just experienced a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks, as well as other factors and family experiences happening not to mention we were in a tense time as a society. I was deep in grief, overwhelm, exhaustion feeling like I had absolutely nothing left to give to anyone. 

In my first session I could hardly speak, as soon as I had stopped moving and slowed down even just a little bit I came completely undone, and couldn't even articulate what I was experiencing. After about 6 months I really started to notice a difference, it felt like I was actually processing my grief and anger instead of just pretending it wasn’t there. 

After a year of seeing my Somatic Experiencing Practitioner I realized that this was the first year I hadn’t experienced depression or anxiety in decades. Yes there were still challenges, and heartbreak, and feelings of uncertainty, but they didn’t catapult me into a depression or full of anxiety like they had in the past. My insides feel different as if they had rearranged themselves. I could experience the full range of emotions without the tailspin of feelings of worthlessness, and complete freeze and overwhelm, or feeling the need to be hypervigilant and control absolutely everything and everyone around me, constantly worrying and feeling as if I was screwing everything up, feeling that I didn’t deserve anything or anyone. 

I had changed, shifted. And I don’t know if it was truly fully noticeable to everyone around me as I was usually good at masking what was going on - but I felt it. I felt different. Lighter, like it's easier to breathe and even though I knew life would still be hard at times there was this knowing that I could navigate it, which was very different from the feeling of I can’t do anything. 

There is a greater ease, a quality of deeper connection and understanding myself. Of knowing what a boundary feels like in my body and having the ability and capacity to set and hold boundaries in my life, an ability to care for myself on a whole new level. Instead of trying to please everyone all the time and put myself through insane discomfort to keep others more comfortable I started caring for myself, this is part of real and honest self care. Telling others no, standing up for myself when a line was being crossed, not forcing myself to be in situations that hurt me just to keep the peace. It is not always graceful and without fumbles but it comes with alot of grace and understanding for myself. 

I continue to see a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner regularly, it has shifted so much for me in the past two and a half years. And this also fuels my passion for sharing this work. 

I am currently taking clients for individual Somatic Counseling. If you are curious if this could help you please feel free to reach out and book a free 30 minute consultation.