intentional rest

Back in June I had decided to take a few weeks off of teaching. I knew I needed more but I was afraid to ask for it, to say it out-loud. I, like many of us base some of my self worth off of my productivity. How much I am able to do and how much work I am doing. I have old beliefs that rest is somehow less than, that taking time off somehow makes you weaker. I learned that you are supposed to push through, and now I am working on unlearning this. Yes there are times we need to be determined and work through and sometimes push through, but I have been through burn out a few times to know that often leads to a place I don’t want to go. 

I know when I am starting to feel short, and anger is bubbling beneath the surface that I am taking on too much and something somewhere has to shift. So this summer I decided to step away from teaching yoga for a little bit to try and create a bit more space. It felt like weird timing and from the outside didn’t make sense. The studios were just opening up again after over a year of being shut down more than being open. But I knew if i didn’t take some space I would begin to burn out. 

The thing is intentional rest is still challenging, I am working through it on a regular basis. Moving through old outdated beliefs, and feelings of shame and guilt when I do take a stand for myself and take intentional rest. I am learning how I make it more of a regular practice and not just something I do when I feel a burnout coming on. 

So I am stepping out of the busy competition and I am moving toward soaking in all of life. I don’t want to sit and compare how busy my day was. I want to sit and talk about the magic in the world and in us, the things we long for and all we are grateful for.